She was pretty happy discussing extremely intimate shit off the cuff in a group. Next time she will really consider how the way she's talking to her friends could make you feel. As Ive gotten older and talked/listened to more and more people, it definitely seems like most toxic masculinity stems from mens encounters with women they trusted, not other men. This was betrayal. The other men were cowering in my path - perhaps it was the still throbbing splitting seams. That's the truth. You are who you are, it's a done deal. Created by your wife. How disgusting can she be? It seems like it doesnt bother your one guy friend all that much and maybe having it a little out in the open will be nice. These ones sound terrible. That is something you tell your partner immediately after it happens (same with exposing your sexuality to her friends). I'm not sure how to help you, but your wife needs better friends. You pave the way for us, and I appreciate you tons. At 31 years old! You need to learn how to deal with being outed and your stupid wife needs to understand the true ramifications for you. Your wife is all kinds of an AH here. Wife: " (my name) I dunno what your heard but it's not what" Me: " (wifes name) I know exactly what I heard." I turned around and stormed off to our room. Hes outed now. Are there no angry bi men who look like grocery store managers? They'll only hear "he likes sex with men. also drunk talk often means honest thoughts of a person. We have been married for more than 10 years and have . A DAD whose wife and kids stopped talking to him because he was covered in tattoos says he has no regrets. If she does it again then it's a bigger issue but i'm sure this will be a big learning moment for her and you will both be in a better place for it. I dunno, this feels like a day time drama and not a real story! Trust your gut, make the proper judgements, and most importantly bounce the fuck back. No shit. There were 3 friends with her. Be kind anyway. Would she throw them under the bus too or try to forbid them from coming out? Just want to say the other husband is a stand up guy. Continuing to discuss, lie and joke about the issue for years is where the problem is. Your sexuality isn't really fodder to take the piss out of. It felt terrible. Its one of the biggest consequences to a pushover personality and if she wants to get back on OPs good side/have a better go with a different relationship, shes gotta level up on her backbone first. Your wife is a pretty disgusting person. It sounds like you have a wife who loves you but is a social coward so afraid of opinions that she tried to hide that it ever happened in hopes no one would find out. I dated a man who tried to beat the bisexuality out of me because the few girl friends I had were "my type." Which is obviously shit because she's willing to throw you to the wolves, but not admit her fun time with you. There is no combination of words that will make all this just go away. Sending you strength. Ive never felt this upset. She pulled her friends into your marriage and made you the butt of a running joke. Wow dude. After reading this post, I was so shocked I seen this as the first comment but was also laughing badly. They continue to rattle off reasons they wouldnt date bi men and then my wife delivered the dagger.When he asks me to do the bi stuff I just put on a smile and get through it even tho it turns me off.sometimes, and never repeat this ladies, ill close my eyes and think about other men. She's betrayed you. They were talking about ex-boyfriends and how another mutual friend of them cheated on her husband with an ex-boyfriend because he was better in bed. There's a lot that isn't adding up about her explanation to you. Yeah, all of those things are a painful betrayal. Is going to take a very long time to fix such fuckery. Ban the girls from the house. That is a messy situation. Best of luck with whatever you decide! Whenever theyre in bed together, the thought of her thinking of other man will show up in his head. You can't keep things like that a secret forever. Thats punishment enough for some. Third, never fighting is surprisingly not a sign of a great marriage. It's going to suck, but it's always worth it to try and move on. Im sorry about your situation; not sure what I would do. And if it was an accident, why did she give them details about what kinks you have? You need to accept yourself for who you are. And regarding the "I let it slip while drunk" part, she's still responsible for her acts while drunk, and if she isn't she shouldn't be drinking. Otoh keeping this secret is what gives it power - power over you. She destroyed your trust, and trust takes a long time to repair. Personal details should remain private. hey i mean, im not married, live with my bf and have 2 cats and a dog. We were having drinks and girl talk, about sex, etc.. well he didnt like a few things he heard and got upset. She said 'girls talk' and she has to have someone to talk to about stuff. Your wife violated your trust multiple times. Tom hasn't been relevant for seven years. She criticized him and tried to get me to break up with him. Thank you. People knowing that hes bi will damage his reputation? I have one person I talk to sometimes about my gf. It actually did make me feel a little better. So here is a truth I don't think many men/women/etc get: SO's talk. Let that sink in. Then throw in this scenario that she was bisexual and the "boys" called her a "butch lesbian who doesn't really like dick.". How you treat your relationship with your wife is up to you, but I would say to her that her friends are homophobic and need to never come by the house again. That's why her apology doesn't feel like it's enough - because it isn't. This is what I found out: She let my sexuality slip two years ago at a bachelorette party to her friends when she was completely shit faced and didnt remember till one of the girls made a joke about it and she freaked out and made them swear to never tell anyone she told them cause she knew how upset Id be. She has taken away your ability to feel safe being vulnerable and honest with her. It won't repair the damage that's been done. I'm sorry. Honor every feeling, but don't become paralysed by them. No, don't buy it. Although, bi men have it way worse. Also, if shes lying to you about this, I feel absolutely certain that are other things you dont know. I told her I cant believe shed ever say something like that or not tell me how she felt.she continued to swear she was just being stupid and didnt mean or feel anything she said. But try couples counseling and go from there. So she's been hiding this for a couple years instead of letting him in on all the jokes behind his back. Which means wherever you gothere will be a little voice in the back of your mind wondering if people are judging you or talking shit about you behind your back, I'm not sure how you move forward in this situation but I would suggest individual therapy and couples counseling.as well as asking her to put some distance between her and the people she ran her mouth to, I would suggest individual therapy and couples counseling.as well as asking her to put some distance between her and the people she ran her mouth to. Couples counselling may help as well. There's a wide gulf between those that think that's okay and the rest of us. First of all, I think we all say less than admirable things about our SOs at times. My fears were confirmed she'd been talking to him for a good while. Your wife's unfortunate refusal to do the same speaks to her character too. She just let it slip. Saying that it was simply too small. personally id be filing for divorce right away, being outed alone can be dangerous let alone your own partner then further breaking your trust by cracking jokes about your sexuality. You have to try and think past this and think about her and the relationship as a whole. she needs to stand by you and say that shes proud of you and supports you. When she answered I could tell shed been crying and was a wreck. I turned around and stormed off to our room. I am so sorry this has happened to you. If you think you can continue in a relationship with someone who is so nonchalantly willing to throw you, your feelings, and your whole person under the bus so easily, for what? Viktor Frankl Especially the part where she acts like its a close call between you and Tom to her girlfriends. At the end of the day, passion doesnt make a partner, love care (a bit of passion/good sex) and commitment do. She does have a right to talk to you about it, and you with her. If you two have a solid relationship, you should be able to work through this. Take some you time and work out where you are that's your starting point my man edit good luck. At the end of the day, it is you who'll decide what makes you happy not them! Come on, you're not 19 anymore. Ebony milf with big tits, shaking young boy's cock in rough modes 06:00. To me this is an unfortunate situation one you would never have known about but for some low key curious snooping and snooping isn't meant as you were being a sneaky individual just a situation happened and you were part off it. Yup. Women talk shit to each other just as much as men do. Once you have accepted what you can't change, then you can move forward, either using gratitude or optimism to recover & reframe the situation. No true friend will stab you in the back. I know from experience when you say Ill kinds of shit and they say whatever makes your friends happy or agree especially if youre drinking and they all laugh about it I believe your wife really does love you but she needs to stand up for you with your friends and those friends arent real friends so they have no business in your home do you need some serious counseling for your children sake. Thats her game, and I suggest therapy and also congratulate you, my dude, on taking it so calmly. Sounds like shes really sorry. For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. He said his wife told him what happened and he wanted to let me know he doesnt give a shit about me being bi and thinks the while situation is fucked. Rob the "state" of whatever you are going through of its power by giving it zero importance. The bigger problem seems to be that she's embarrassed of it, not willing to stick up for it/you, and is willing to lie to her friends to fit into what they want her to be. That's only for me and my wife to know. It's human nature. Made her feel embarrassed and she knows that she fucked up. I even heard her shoosh the friend who said it and peek inside the kitchen but I hid behind the counter and kept listening. The best part was, after a couple of months, everything was solved, tadalafile was no longer necessary, I find out she had a hookup during that period. At the beginning of the marriage endometriosis and disparei is, we spent almost an year without sex, I was always by her side, left the work early, never even thought about hookups or relief with other women. Best of luck. Exposing your sexuality and your sex life to her friends is a massive betrayal, but it has been covered by other quality comments. Therefore I would talk to her about her views on it and, if necessary, go to couples therapy on this. I would be so freaking upset & sad. I've been married for 21+ years. My only advice is to give it time. Any time it would come up I would think about those words. i think you do need to consider the idea that it probably was indeed just girl talk, same as when guys just chat shit together. I honestly don't know if your marriage can survive this. Whether or not its just because she got caught, I dont know. So props to you. By bringing it up then and making your feelings the most important feelings in the room, you are being childish. Would she have thrown Tom under the bus like that to entertain her friends ignorance? That's what's really completely messed up - she's been joking with pals behind his back for a couple years and never told him she had slipped up. It's tough because that level of betrayal is seriously enraging, but, do you throw away a good thing? You need to tell her how this has made you feel and how hurt you are by it. The guys and I were in the garage smoking and throwing back some beers just bullshitting about this and that. Especially since it contradicted her actions so much. Emasculated. That is why we married each other. We were chatting in my kitchen (we own a two family house) and her boyfriend was eavesdropping at the connecting door. 2.) You seem like you are happy in your relationship (prior to this obviously) and wanting to find a way to work through this and I feel like a lot of counseling is the only way it could possibly happen. After some investigation the the psychologist and clinic consensus was that my mind was f***ed up. I overheard them talking, and my wife said that this guy was a really nice guy. 3. Life works in a whelm of duality. She is the person who is supposed to have your back the most, and not only did she not, she threw you to the wolves and also took some bites herself. Are you being a bit harsh? As long as they're not being super stupid, 100% in public and then you tell them off in private. Same. So (and this is where your perception of the relationship comes in) you have to determine whether she was going with the flow of the conversation or whether she does actually have an issue with that. And also, alcohol intake needs to be curtailed. Sending you my best OP. Even individual counseling as well, to help you understand your own feelings and what you want to do in this relationship. I'd be more open about your sexuality; if you've nothing to hide then the nasty wives have nothing to attack. Especially because the reason behind the "close call" was because OP is bi. Humanity is an ocean. This is now twice that she has blabbed something intensely personal while intoxicatedthat you know about. Yeah, I'm a married woman. We say things to fit in, to belong, to make people laugh, to shock people and to make ourselves seem more impressive or likeable and so on - we dont always say things just because we mean the words that come out of our mouths. Did she give me advice? You are joke to your wife she have no respect for you at all. She has been entertaining this for two years because she can't control her mouth when she's drinking. IN YOUR HOME. Its one thing for the wife and her friends to be talking about you, but they were talking about you and laughing. Doesnt make it right. I think you should try to work this out. Isn't this basically reverse sexism? . Your wife definitely violated your trust by sharing that information with her friends. There are many things that could be said or done that are definite "break up" situations, but this is not one of them. Youre not overreacting at ALL. I would never be able to sleep with my wife again but OP might be better than me. It's not a secret, kept in a fault. I am a firm believer that most things can be worked through. This. She said she thought about him and thinks they were young and made stupid mistakes. Its just so cowardly and shows she's not on your team. I would take a long look to see if this is reconcilable. Talk it out and see if she can commit to working on this need to put on appearances. I live in a fairly large Canadian metropolitan area, most guys I know and hang out with are even a little bi. MILF Teacher seduce to Fuck Anal by Young Boy 12:11. She outed you. I agree though it does sound like she started the mocking of his sexuality. Wife: Oh, nothing just a funny story from (friends name) work. Now, this is fine! He heard her, not us) about visualizing other men. Being a bi women in a straight committed relationship, I can connect with you in some sense because I do hear "you can't be bi, you're married to a man" or I had previous partners that were horribly insecure about my sexuality. You heard the truth when she was talking to her friends, about your private life, without your knowledge. Your sex life sounds amazing. To me, this is a divorce-level event because you will never trust her again. Why would she tell them that you enjoy pegging? Ha fucking ha. Those so called friends are not real friends. My husband is also bi, and I would never mock his sexuality like that. The guy was asking her if she'd told me about them being together in the past. I mean, youre not wrong petty king/queen. I would suggest that you avoid any hasty decisions that would blow your life up until you take some time to process this on your timeline. Shes hurt you, she needs to stand by you and say that shes proud of you and supports you, has no doubts, and enjoys it herself. How much more reassurance do you need? She should immediately be defending you if they're bigots and jerks about your sexuality. The text of the post has been preserved below. You don't have to let it go. My conjecture is that she did so because of the above reasons basically to seem cool. First, you did not overreact, this is a huge violation of your trust. You both need support and work towards creating a space where you both can be more honest with one another. Would she still have the friends over knowing how they feel? Anywho, I keep listening and one of her friends mentions that she ran into Tom while grocery shopping and found out that hes visiting family in town. Stay strong man I can only hope you can move on from this with your confidence restored. Do NOT let her tell you your feelings are wrong. Couple of things: I have a very close group of girlfriends. Do those stupid things include degrading your bisexual SO to friends with homophobic views? Get your better halves and get the fuck out of my house I sniped as I tipped my fedora and winked at my wifes hottest friend who was clearly impressed by my rage erection that had partially split the seam in my relaxed fit Levi 501s. There was also probably some truth to her bedroom comments. Don't let her victimize herself or try and guilt trip you. First, I am so sorry she made those statements for whatever the reason. Oh My God, seriously? Your wife probably didn't want to admit in front of her friends that she likes that you're into butt stuff and initiates most of the time. I don't know where you should go from here. It was over something dumb, but she's fucking nuts and didn't want me to date anybody. German Young Boy Seduce Big Tit Step-Mom to Lost Virgin 16:20. Sorry bro, you got something thinking to do b- for creative writing, but this is total BS. She insulted your sexual performance 5. If a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. Picking that moment to be the center of attention? Period.. It very much is and if you let them gaslight you and suppress how you actually feel, you will feel a huge burden and trust issues for the rest of your life. Me about them being together in the end of the post has been this. 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