I was devasted. Maybe it was the slowing down of drinking? He is 15 years older than me. We are physically and emotionally distant recently and really the only reason I stay here is because of the kids and because of the money it would take to bring us home. He made an ass of himself. Driver calls this the belly button rule.When were telling the truth and are with people we like, admire, and trust, we face our belly buttons towards them. Please help! He had the ring on the finger, true, but you have no morales if you cheat with him. and their father dont want to change.. please help. He then sent her text messages that he deleted before I saw them. I dont know for sure if I hid all the rest of them before he supposibly threw that one out and that could be why he only threw that one awaythen today he was talking to me on the phone and said hang on and he put me on mute and it was for no longer then 2 mins maybe but he said he asked the guy for something from the liquor store and I asked what and it took him a couple secs to answer and he said a blunt wrap but I know he smokes blunts when he isnt at the house and told me before! My gut feeling has never lied or been un true in the past I believe in the 15 years there has been at least 5 please help Im very desperate to have closer Ive never stayed with a cheater but hes slick I could never catch him. You did the right thing by telling your mom that he cheated. Im constantly being harrassed when I do go out. The separation will help me see things better, but I dont want to be with him anymore. She called me and we chatted on the phone about it, me crying my eyes out and her telling me itd be okay and he wasnt worth the tears. I want him to move. Your venting helped me put the missing pieces together. She was married, but lived in another state, so I left it alone at first. he use to want to have sex 4 to 5 times a week and now if we do it once a week he doesnt mind. HiI am pretty sure my husband of 11 yrs has or is cheating online. He appologized and said I was right and the conversation should have never gone that far, and that Boss was meaning me. I dont like his job because he has accepted gifts from other women and is a server at an asian restaurant. Otherwise, youre going to have to play detective. 5 months into our marriage I find that he has the app Tinder on his phone, at first I didnt open it up. Jeeze am I making things to easy for him? Thanks. Anyone who doubts what I have said should travel overseas, and you will change your mind. whats wrong with men these days? Gone for over 10vdays. Should I believe him? (you can see the explenation if you click on my nickname as well..). Marriage for 43 yrs. Hope each and every one of you with a cheater can cut him loose and find some happiness. Other red flags include: he put a lock code on his phone (he has something to hide), he is not intimate physical (he could be getting it elsewhere, or might get it elsewhere in the future) if u have kids he could be trying to keep the dead relationship for the sake of the children it sounds like maybe you should consider talking out your problems and if you dont get the answer you are looking for, things remain the same, or you find yourself unhappy all the time, consider living apart for a while and rebuilding your self esteem (pamper yourself, hang out with fun friends, focus on looking your best at all times even when alone, just have a huge mancation and seek to repair any emotional setbacks that you have experienced from your marriage). I knew my boyfriend was cheating on Me even though I couldnt prove it. I encourage you to look into the free counseling resources in your area. I am sick of the lies and the sad part is he almost had me buying his lies. We all do. Much prayers and good luck!! We fought and fought. Most women, I think, would feel that way, too. ( son saw her coming out of the hotel room-claims his son was drunk so he is mistaken) I asked him to explain the pictures he said she was alone and he probable felt bad and chatted with herThe pictures depicted look like they were a couple////lies bother me, the truth would be so much easier to deal withhow do I get the truth? Linda, you dont have to go anywhere to buy a tracker. I think he has a lot of potential to be a great and stable partner. It hurts, like a part of me died and I feel low about myself. In March of 2011 we attended a local event and she was also there and several other friends. I knew it but didnt want to believe my marriage was over. So when he went to the strip club 3 weeks after I delivered, I asked him did he have fun. And he denies it all. I ask him what were they talking about he said she need to give me some papers. "I excruciatingly suffered." This left me confused because since I gave birth to our son I have lost 40lbs, found a job that pays me will, not well enough to support us without his help, and I have taken steps to continue my education. And I know my husband is honest with me so far.. I feel so humiliated and betrayed. Its sadbut the sooner you start dealing with it, the better. The hardest part for me right now is letting it go. He is cheating,so Am I. I need out. Ami, Im sorry in my experience men and women cant be friends because you take away from his relationship with his wife. Thankfully, She was saying no to him and saying that isnt being very faithful. The Holy Spirit will reveal all things. Some may be justified but there is more to it than what you may think of yourself. His wife called me a liar and everything on the book. I have no place to go, my family lives in Atlanta and I have no money saved. If youre still struggling after a time, its more than likely that your marriage cannot be saved. We do not have any children nor is there anyone else living with us that I would be able to ask as well therefore; how is it that I am ACCUSING him?? Thanks for your thoughts on private investigators helping wives find out if their husbands are lying about cheating, Angel! We talked about it and he said, that yes she did come over, but they are just frinds. I dont mind because everyone needs time away to relax. Nou def shouldnt believe himonce a cheater, always a cheater in most cases. (used the same name I used here sounds like a porn star right?) U know the man that is awesome in public and monster all the way home. He said it was more frequent in the beginning then got less frequent as the weeks went on. He was a tall good looking man with a great personalty. Laurie, youre quite sharp. That response made me feel like maybe they were just friends. Also I told him the only way to prove to me is if I can talk to this guy he was with last night looking at this. He later (about2-3 weeks) told me it was nothing serious. Doesnt matter. if you choose to stay i hope you understand that you will be allowing this. Hes not as interested in physical intimacy as he was before. And yes, it turns out, all the other things were stress at work, including being out at a very tense meeting that ran late. Now i wasnt talking to my friend about going out and smoking with him we were just talking about stuff from the past and stuff in general. Do you respect yourself enough to leave him? Is my marriage over? It seems to me the unpaid labour of a year was an affair. May you find peace with whatever your future holds, and may you be strong enough to move forward with what you know in your heart is the right thing for you to do. He would get overly mad when I bought her up. Nov 21,2013 I found out my husband was cheating on me. Some software programs let you know all about hidden actions that your husband does online. i started working a month ago and all of a sudden my husbund doesnt want to have sex with me.he chashed me out of our room just because i asked him to brush my daughters hair in the moning because she only gets up after i leave and now im staying in a store room and he is making me sleep on the floor im not even alowed to sleep on the blow up matress.today i made spagetti and mince and he told me a friend of his can make it better then me and he did not even touch it and refuses to tell me who this friend is.he seems to blame me if something goes wrong even if its not even my doing. Like I said we have three boys together all under the age of 5. I even called this woman and politely asked if there was anything going on between my husband and her. Good luck to you both. In my experience, once trust and respect are violated in a relationship it becomes a very painful and resentful situation unless you live in denial (which is not reality). I think you should get out of this relationship as soon as possible. They need to risk honesty. He would even try and hide it, but I loved him soo much I didnt see what may never change with him. I have been with my man for 8 years and married for two. I was shocked. The best advice I have to give to u is go running from this guy because as the saying goes once a cheater always a cheater. (It even had the date on it.). This has caused allot of heat ache for me and emberrasment. He had taken her on a vacation when I thought he was on a golf outing!! consider how many times you argue or quarrel, how close is your husband to the kids, does he support in the house though is drinking? Sad that people say guys who cheat hang out with other guys who cheat when a matter of fact, my friend is getting g a divorce with his wife because she is the infidelic person. There were favors involved (working her shifts). We were in our teens when we got married and I do believe he loves me. Tell me what three things you most want to see happen with your husband and your life. He has told you what he needs to consider the situation - respect that and give him space instead of forcing him to deal with the hurt at your pace and insistence. Are you serious!!!!! I dont want to tell him about the tracker cause I want to keep track so I know he is lying to my face, this is killing me and I cant function we have 2 girls 7 & 4 and I dont want to break up our home but Im so scared its killing me. God Bless. When id try to clean up the room i saw all the things of her ex. Finally I entered another relationship big surprise whammy !!! That doesnt mean that you cant take your failing marriage as an excuse to change up your appearance, but do it in a way to pamper yourself and make you feel more confident. But i am confused and i doubt hes lying. I gave him a second chance after living in his car and finding his self alone he hasnt done it since. I think you know as well as I do that I cant tell you if your boyfriend is cheating on you! Men who are risk-takers or easily sexually aroused are also more likely to wander; for women, relationship issues are stronger predictors of unfaithfulness. Please help he says I am crazy and that its all in my head, my husband started getting these weird text messages and voice mails he doesnt know how to change anything like that but anyways i check them often we dont live together so our relationship is rocky sometimes (we live together sometimes which is better then not living together)but last night he got this voice mail from this girl saying i wish you would let me know if you are coming over you you said you would after dark and i asked him about it when he finally answered his phone he denied it of course and told me to calm down and i needed to trust him more but there are rumors going around where he live that he is having an affair with this girl she is skinnier then me and i am devastated about this i made an appointment to go talk to a therapist we have 4 children our sex life hasnt changed when we are together if anything he wants it more then what he did before i dont know what to believe i need help really bad i hope some one can help me figure this out im dying inside and its hard to hide this form my kids. enough to make you go and look? 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